Yesterday...

          (photos: compliments of Shauna and Keira's camera's)

Yesterday I found myself on my way to Sylvia, Brian, and Paul's home in Kibera.  Tafrosa and I set out to meet the mother that wasn't taking care of her children.  I learned in India that poverty does terrible things to people, so I wasn't angry at this woman.  Even when the kids were seen at a free medical clinic- they requested that the mother be taken to the chief of police because it seemed like abuse.  Tafrosa first felt the same way.  But I think if we did end up taking this woman to the police (without truly understanding her story) it would just destroy the little relationship the "school" has with her.  Then she would not allow her children to attend anymore which meant they would not get fed at all.  I'm more of a child advocate in this situation- not so much about how to punish the mom for her crime on her children.  Tafrosa seemed to really understand and agree.  With that we decided to try to meet the aunt or mom- whoever we could find at the home.  All kids in school here are out on holiday the whole month of August, but if our "school" lets out- some of the kids don't eat and they have nothing to do.  So they are only out a few days.  I had bought a few things for Sylvia, Paul and Brian I was going to give them upon meeting mom.  We didn't even get halfway there before we ran into Phyllis with Kyle.  Phyllis told us that the mother sent word that she did not want the Muzungu (white person) coming to her home anymore because it was putting her family in danger.  Last week we walked or carried the 3 home every day from school.  Apparently, people in the community saw this and assumed that because the white people were taking a liking to these children- we were giving them money.  At this point- I could feel my blood boiling.  So they are fearful of people trying to break into their home to look for money the Muzugu gave them.  Possibly even threaten or hurt them. 

 

How stupid of me to think that I was helping them.  When really I have hurt them.  I can't tell you how discouraging that was to me.  I felt so broken and helpless.  How naive!  Do I really THINK that I understand these people or this culture.  How dare I act like I understand the people of Kibera just because I've been there a few weeks.  I mean how can I identify with this slum being from one of the richest countries in the world!  I really have no clue.  I grew nauseous.  All I had thought about Friday- Monday was seeing those kids, playing with them, and making them smile.  I've learned just how to make them smile.  For Sylvia it's wrapping my arms around her and squeezing her so tight with a huge hug.  She looks back at me with this massive smile that would melt even the coldest heart.  For Paul- it's being held with his head on my chest, sucking the same fingers I used to suck.  For Brian- it's holding him in my arms and jumping in the air saying "Rukaju" (jump).  It's almost giggle...

I really had to do some serious reading on suffering and WHY these things are allowed to continue.  I can get quite emotional about what the Sudanese/Darfurians are going through on a daily basis.  At one point I had avoided the forbidden question long enough.  I can remember the day i was in tears and finally belted out "Why God? You can do anything!"

Have you ever asked that question?  Here's "WHY":

So what is the real condition of our world at large?

First, we must understand that the real condition of our world today is a continuation of what began when Eve "took some fruit and ate it" and then offered the fruit to Adam who seemed to be more than willing to partake himself (Gen 3:6).  The condition of the world is the result of sin entering the world through Adam and Eve.  The suffering we now see and the injustice that permeates our societies can't be blamed on anything other than the true culprit--SIN.

If sin is the true culprit, then every issue of poverty, injustice, and oppression has a spiritual element to it.  

It's days like yesterday when, in tears, I've said "Lord, I just wanna go home.  I can't do this.  It's days like tomorrow when I'm so thankful God chose me to be here.  Then it's days like the next (Thursdays- my favorite) when it makes going home in November hard because I'll miss their faces, smiles, and hugs so much.  

My mom used to tell me in nursing school "Lindy, you do your part and God will do His."  I believe that's the case in these little lives too.  I'll just have to do what I can and leave the rest up to Him.